


I Know I Need You

by dumbkili



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crushes, First Kiss, Fluff, I have four (4) cavities from writing this, M/M, Modern AU, Strategic Test-Passing Techniques, Texting, group chats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 21:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5801368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbkili/pseuds/dumbkili
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>About ten minutes after he arrived at school that morning, Caleb realized something. Something was wrong today. Something was missing. He couldn’t put his finger on it for a few minutes as he loitered in the cafeteria, waiting for the bell to ring. It was a big something, he knew that much. An important something. It was something that he instinctively knew was a key component in his coming to school today at all, and yet it wasn’t here. Confused, he turned to his right.</p>
<p>“Hey Tallboy- Oh.” </p>
<p>Ben wasn’t there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know I Need You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainquint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainquint/gifts).



> This fic is a birthday present for schuylerelizas on tumblr, who requested a tallster modern au. I added the high school part cos I'm garbage. 
> 
> enjoy !

About ten minutes after he arrived at school that morning, Caleb realized something. Something was wrong today. Something was missing. He couldn’t put his finger on it for a few minutes as he loitered in the cafeteria, waiting for the bell to ring. It was a big something, he knew that much. An important something. It was something that he instinctively knew was a key component in his coming to school today at all, and yet it wasn’t here. Confused, he turned to his right.

 

“Hey Tallboy- Oh.” 

 

Ben wasn’t there.

 

\---

 

“Have you seen Ben?” 

 

“What?” Abigail asked, looking up from the English homework she was hurriedly doing against the side of a locker.

 

“Ben. Benjamin Tallmadge. Description’s in the name. About… this high?” Caleb said, standing up on tiptoes and reaching a hand up above his head. Abby rolled her eyes.

 

“Yeah, Caleb, I know who Ben is. But I haven’t seen him.” She went back to filling out her homework, practically putting a neon red ‘conversation over’ sign above her head. Caleb sighed heavily and continued down the crowded hallway, trying to peek over the heads of the people around him to see if he could spot Ben anywhere. It had been several hours since the start of the day now, and he was starting to get worried. Ben almost never missed school. 

 

The bell for third period rang and Caleb quickly ducked into his class. History. Great. A class he didn’t share with Ben, who was in APUSH. But also, conveniently, a class with a teacher so inept and unobservant you could play Flappy Bird right in front of him and he wouldn’t notice. He pulled out his phone.

 

**Caleb, a very handsome guy and all around stud:** where are you

 

He expected a long wait for an answer, but his phone buzzed almost immediately. 

 

**Ben:** Is that a trick question?

 

**Ben:** My house??

 

Confused, Caleb tapped out a quick reply.

 

**Caleb, a very handsome guy and all around stud:** youre supposed to be in school! i think! maybe?

 

**Ben:** Wow i never thought i’d see the day. caleb brewster being the one to tell me to go to school.

 

**Ben:** also when did you change your name in my phone?? and why did you change it to ‘Caleb, a very handsome guy and all around stud’?

 

Caleb flushed, and then instantly thanked God and whoever else was watching that texting didn’t reveal your facial expression. As he began to type his response, he answered Ben’s question the only way he knew how: He skirted around it.

 

**Caleb, a very handsome guy and all around stud:** dont you have a midterm today you dingus like im no straight-a student but those are kind of important maybe??

 

**Ben:** im changing it

 

**Caleb, a very handsome guy and all around stud:** the midterm?

 

**Ben:** no you fucknut im talking about ur contact name

 

**Caleb:** nooooooo cmon it was good

 

**Anna Banana:** I really, really, REALLY would like to be taken out of this group chat

 

**AbrOham:** hard same

 

Caleb winced. He hadn’t realized he’d opened the group chat instead of his private one with Ben. Although really, the ‘ABC + Abe’ title should have tipped him off. 

 

**Caleb:** you two are so ungrateful honestly you KNOW t-boy and i are the one source of light in your dull lives

 

**Ben:** don’t call me t-boy

 

**Anna Banana:** id be less annoyed if it wasnt the MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS

 

**Ben:** Anna, we’re rescuing you from that HELL wow Caleb is right youre so ungrateful

 

**Caleb:** Ben seriously where are you are you okay!

 

**AbrOham:** MOVE IT TO THE PRIVATE CHAT

 

**Ben:** I’m fine i’m just sick dude it’s no big deal

 

Caleb frowned. Ben was missing school because he was sick? Ridiculous. The guy had once come into school with literal, diagnosed influenza because he needed to hand in a project.

 

**Caleb:** bull-fucking-shit my guy i am coming over

 

**Ben:** After school?

 

**Caleb:** no right now

 

**Anna Banana:** kill me

 

Caleb quickly slipped his phone into the pocket of his hoodie and shot his hand up in the air. The teacher, Mr. Lee, paused in his dry-as-dust lecture and raised one eyebrow. 

 

“...Yes, Caleb?”

 

“HimayIpleasegotothebathroomthanks,” said Caleb, and left. He could feel several new texts coming in on his phone, but he didn’t bother taking it out to read them. They all probably said something like ‘don’t throw away your future by cutting half of the day’ or another dumb thing like that. He didn’t care. Either Ben  _ was _ really sick, and lying about it, or he was doing something else, something probably more interesting than sitting around in school all day. Both scenarios required Caleb’s presence to be complete, in his humble opinion. He stopped by his locker briefly to grab his heavier winter coat, and then snuck out of the school building through a back hallway that only the janitors were supposed to use.

 

The Long Island winter hit him in the face like a bag full of bricks, with a few knives thrown in for good measure. His breath puffed out in front of him in tiny clouds, and looked just a few degrees away from freezing solid and shattering on the ground. Caleb stuck his hands deep in his pockets, and started walking. His phone finally stopped buzzing as the others realized that he was dead set on his decision. 

 

Ben’s house was closer to school than Caleb’s was, so the walk wasn’t  _ too _ long, but it was long enough that by the time he got there, his face was numb and his feet felt more like two blocks of ice attached to his legs than any sort of real appendages. He raised one hand to ring the bell, then remembered that it was disconnected. That had been his fault, partially. A few months ago he’d rung it for ten minutes straight only to find out Ben wasn’t even home. Reverend Tallmadge was still mad at him for that one. He fumbled for his phone and wished he’d brought gloves.

 

**Caleb:** m her e let me In

 

**Ben:** are you fucking serious

 

**Caleb:** LET ME IN ITS FUCKIGN COld

 

**Anna Banana:** caleb get back here this instant

 

**Caleb:** ben im dying

 

“You’re a child,” said Ben, swinging open the door. Caleb nearly fell inside and dramatically flopped against Ben’s side, one hand over his forehead like a Victorian heroine. He smelled like toast.

 

“No, Ben, I’m serious. There was this white light and I swear I could see my grandma- hang on.” He frowned and pushed himself off of Ben, inspecting him. Barefoot, flannel pj pants, threadbare t-shirt for some band that nobody had heard of or cared about. Too-long hair pulled back in a ponytail. Ben sat through it patiently, his arms folded against the chill that wound in from the still-open door. He looked pretty cute, actually- and nopenopenope NOPE Caleb was  _ not _ going down that road. To cover his sudden embarrassment, Caleb let out a crow of triumph. “I knew it! I knew you weren’t sick, ya big faker.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes. “Fine, yeah, you got me. I’m okay. Will you go back to school now?” He swung the door closed without waiting for an answer, already knowing that Caleb wasn’t going anywhere. Caleb shrugged out of his coat and hung it up in the coatrack in the front hall (since Reverend Tallmadge would have his head if he didn’t) and took the liberty of leading the way into the kitchen. He practically lived at Ben’s house anyways.

 

“So what gives, man?” he asked, opening the Tallmadge’s fridge and pouring himself a glass of orange juice. “Why’re you skippin’ school without me?”

 

“I’m not  _ skipping _ , exactly,” said Ben, sitting down at the kitchen table. It was covered in papers. “More like… strategically cutting?” He shuffled some of the disorganized stacks of papers into different, equally disorganized piles. 

 

“Why?” Caleb frowned, taking a sip of his juice. He was starting to see the big picture, but pieces were still missing.

 

“Biology midterm!” Ben cried, throwing his hands up in the air for a second. “I have no idea what the hell I’m doing in that class!” He looked too stressed to even be forming coherent sentences, flyaways sneaking out of his ponytail and a slightly manic look in his eyes.

 

Caleb nodded slowly, sitting down across from Ben. Calm, broadcasted movements. “Okay, I think I get it. You’re cutting a whole day of school to study for your biology midterm, yeah?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Right, that’s pretty smart, Benny, but I can see one big, gaping hole in your plan,” said Caleb. He leaned back in his chair slightly. “Midterm’s  _ today _ .”

 

Ben groaned. “I  _ know _ . But it’s a really big test, so there will be makeups for it, and since it’s Friday, the soonest the makeups can be is Monday,  _ which means _ I have three more days to study and get my act together.” He gestured to the wasteland of notes spread out in front of him. “Do you see what I’m up against, Caleb?!”

 

Caleb looked at the notes, then eyed the empty coffee mug on the table, then turned back at Ben. “How long have you been awake?”

 

Ben shrugged one shoulder and made a vague, mumbled answer. Caleb narrowed his eyes.

 

“Let me rephrase. Did you sleep last night? At all?”

 

Ben wiggled one hand in the air and made a noise like ‘eh’. In the stark light of the kitchen, the bags under his eyes and his uncombed hair had become more apparent. Caleb let out a long, entirely too world-weary sigh. 

 

“Ben, I  _ swear _ … God, you’re turning me into such a mother hen. Go take a shower.”

 

“What?” asked Ben, laughing a little bit in disbelief. “Caleb, you can’t force me to take a shower.” He folded his arms and leaned back, apparently confidant in his ridiculous height and Caleb’s laziness to deter any attempts to do just that.

 

“Uh, well, first of all,” said Caleb, standing up. “I’m on the wrestling team. So yes. I can absolutely force you. But my way is probably going to involve bodily harm and wet clothes, so. You choose how this is gonna go.” Internally, he winced. That hadn’t come out right. Ben looked a little pale.

 

“Jesus shit man okay I’m going,” he mumbled, and Caleb grinned. 

 

“Nice. You guys got any Lucky Charms?”

 

“Please stop eating our cereal,” called Ben as he went upstairs. “My dad keeps thinking it’s me that’s doing it and he’s mad.”

 

“I’ll stop when Lucky Charms stop being so magically delicious,” Caleb called back, pouring himself a bowl and going upstairs as well. Ben was already in the bathroom, so Caleb went into his bedroom and ate the cereal at his desk, which was also covered in biology notes. As he ate, he pulled out his phone to see what Anna and Abe were up to. He scrolled through about ten messages from Anna telling him to get back to class, which must have been sent when he’d only just left. They were all pretty repetitive and boring except for the most recent five, which made him laugh out loud.

 

**Anna Banana:** caleb im serious get back to school

 

**Anna Banana:** fuck you caleb youre supposed to be here for me in bio. fuck you

 

**AbrOham:** hey anna i mean i’m in this class too u kno ;)

 

**Anna Banana:** fuck off abe oh my god not right now

 

**AbrOham:** babe :(

 

“What are you laughing about?” asked Ben over the sound of the shower. 

 

“Abe’s being disgustingly heterosexual again,” Caleb replied, and Ben laughed too.

 

“Oh, great. Whatever would we do without old Honest Abe?”

 

**Caleb:** anna get your boyfriend under control

 

**Anna Banana:** we’re BARELY dating

 

**Anna Banana:** and speaking of boyfriends. How’s yours doing?

 

Caleb groaned quietly and pressed a hand to his forehead. He really,  _ really _ hated it when Anna did this. Yeah, he and Ben both liked guys. Yeah, they were both out. No, they weren’t dating. No matter how much Caleb  _ didn’t think about it _ , they  _ were not _ romantically involved. 

 

Anna just hadn’t gotten the message yet.

 

**Caleb:** he’s not my boyfriend

 

**Anna Banana:** yeah sure

 

**Caleb:** and he’s FINE, he’s skipping school to get more time to study for bio

 

**AbrOham:** barely dating?

 

_ AbrOham was removed from the conversation by Anna Banana _

 

**Caleb:** haha nice one

 

The sound of the shower shutting off made Caleb look up from his phone, and the quiet curse he heard from Ben made him raise an eyebrow.

 

“Everything alright, T-Boy?”

 

“Okay, one: don’t call me that,” replied Ben exasperatedly. “And two, I forgot to grab fresh clothes before I went in.”

 

Of course. Of-fucking-course this was happening to him right now. How could it go any other way. Caleb sighed loudly as the universe laughed at him, and stood up.

 

“Say no more.” He spared one sad look for his bowl of Lucky Charms, because god-fucking-damn it if he didn’t need to commiserate with  _ something _ right now, and wandered over to Ben’s closet. “Alright, Tallmadge, what gross old indie band t-shirt do you want?”

 

“I don’t care,” said Ben. Then, belatedly: “And I don’t own exclusively indie band merch!”

 

Caleb rolled his eyes even though Ben couldn’t see him. “Yeah, whatever.” He dug through the drawers of the dresser shoved into the tiny closet. Most of the shirts  _ were _ for tiny, defunct bands that he’d never heard of- and a few that he had, from Ben forcing him to listen to them. Eventually he just gave up and grabbed a blue shirt with a yellow logo so faded that the shirt was basically plain. A quick search through the rest of the drawers left him with some jeans, socks, and (Christ) a fresh pair of underwear.

 

“Dude, you’re fucking welcome,” he said, throwing the whole bundle into the bathroom and absolutely  _ not _ looking. 

 

“Thanks, Caleb.” It was only a couple of minutes before Ben came out of the bathroom, still toweling off his hair and rudely not wearing the socks Caleb had given him. He paused for a second by his desk, looking at Caleb’s bowl of cereal. “You don’t even eat the cereal part,” he complained. “You only eat the marshmallows.”

 

“That’s the only good part!” insisted Caleb, but he guiltily ate one of the wheat pieces anyway, to appease Ben. He jumped as another text came in on his phone. “Ah. Anna says for the two of us to stop dicking around and come back to school.”

 

Ben laughed and sat down heavily on his bed, the springs creaking slightly in protest. “‘Dicking around’?”

 

Caleb stubbornly willed himself not to blush. “Her verb. Not mine.” 

 

**Caleb:** shshhhhh everything is fine here we’re good over here

 

**Anna Banana:** don’t shh me you nincompoop this is a textual conversation

 

Ben continued to sit on the edge of his bed for a few more seconds, staring at nothing. He looked exhausted. Then he blinked and seemed to physically shake himself into alertness, looking at Caleb over his shoulder.

 

“You said you were texting Abe earlier?” he asked. His hair was slowly, slowly starting to dry and curl slightly. Caleb was still  _ not looking _ . 

 

“Uh. Yes. Yep. I was,” he said eloquently, and shoved some more cereal in his mouth to make sure his stupid brain didn’t say anything else.

 

Ben seemed oblivious to Caleb’s struggle. “Did he say anything about what we were talking about the other day?”

 

Caleb choked a little bit on a marshmallow. “Oh, uh, no. It didn’t come up. But I don’t think he’s gonna do it, man.”

 

Ben made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. “Why wouldn’t he? He  _ knows _ how awful Mr. Frederick is! If we could get to his files-  _ prove _ he’s been skewing the grades towards his favorites-”

 

“Abe’s not gonna do it ‘cos he’s a weenie and a kiss-ass,” Caleb interrupted. “He doesn’t wanna rock the boat, which is understandable-”

 

“Understandable is not excusable! It’s blatantly unfair what’s going on in this school, and Abe’s the only one of us who won’t cause suspicion if he goes poking around! I’ve already filed  _ three _ petitions with the school office-”

 

“Yeah, and had me and Anna sign  _ all of them _ -”

 

“But Abe abstained! Now’s his chance to actually  _ do  _ something, instead of being a doormat!” Somewhere in the middle of his rant, Ben had stood up and started pacing the room, winding his hands through his hair a few times and shaking water everywhere like a wet dog. However, right now he was acting more like a cockatoo or a cat- something that puffed up when it was mad. Caleb stubbornly didn’t notice that it was a  _ really _ good look for him. 

 

“Ben. Listen,” he said, standing up and placing one hand on Ben’s shoulder. “You can talk to him about it on Monday. You can bother him all you like. Okay?” Ben hesitated for a second, and then nodded, his eyes slipping shut for a moment. Caleb grinned. “Atta boy!” he cried, patting Ben’s cheek a few times, and quickly stepped away before he did anything else. “Well. Now what?”

 

“Hm? Oh. I guess I should… study more?” said Ben, but he sounded unsure. And really tired. He kept glancing toward the bed, then away again, like it was something he wanted but couldn’t have (and boy, did Caleb know all about looks like that) (although he kind of wished Ben looked at  _ him _ that way, and not a fucking bed).

 

“You look tired,” Caleb said bluntly. “Take a nap.”

 

“I just took a shower- I’m wearing jeans-” spluttered Ben, grasping at straws. “I- I’ve got a guest.”

 

“A guest?” scoffed Caleb. “Where? Please, Benny-boy, I haven’t been a guest in this home since pre-k.” 

 

“It’s the  _ principle _ of the thing,” Ben protested faintly. He looked like he was about to collapse. Caleb sighed and gently began to steer Ben towards the bed by his elbow. Ben grumbled something that sounded like “Fuck you,” but Caleb didn’t pay him any attention.

 

“Go to sleep,” he said, and gave Ben a sharp shove. In a perfect world, Ben would have fallen neatly onto the mattress and been asleep in less than five minutes. Caleb would have thrown a blanket vaguely in his direction, finished his Lucky Charms, and hung around downstairs for a few hours watching TV until Reverend Tallmadge came home and kicked him out. He’d see Ben again on Monday, and everything would be normal.

 

Caleb Brewster did not live in a perfect world, and that is not what happened.

 

Caleb shoved Ben, yes, but somewhere in midair, as he was falling, Ben reached up and grabbed Caleb’s wrist, twisting and bringing Caleb down with him. They landed in a stack on the mattress, Caleb’s arm pinned awkwardly between them. 

 

“Ow,” said Caleb eloquently. And then he said, “This is so disgustingly cliché.”

 

Ben snorted- honest to god snorted- and replied, “Ugh, I know. Sorry. I don’t know why I did that.” This close, Caleb was able to not-notice all the tiny little details about him that he couldn’t not-notice from a respectable distance. The way his hair curled over his neck, the exact shade of his eyes, the way he smelled… Caleb wasn’t, like, a scent  _ expert _ or anything, so he couldn’t pick out the exact smells, but Ben smelled good. Clean. Nice.

 

Suddenly, Caleb realized that it had been a good fifteen seconds, and neither of them had said anything else. Neither of them had moved. He tore his gaze away from that one piece of hair on Ben’s neck and chanced a look at his eyes. A spike of adrenaline shot through him when he saw that Ben was meeting his gaze- had already been looking at him, even. He recognized that look, too. It was the way you look at something you want, but can’t have.

 

“Um,” he said quietly, and opened his mouth to say something more- something like ‘I’ll just be going now,’ or ‘Go to sleep, Tallboy,’ or some other quick, easy way out of the situation- but instead what came out was, “Can I kiss you?”

 

Ben didn’t respond for a second. Caleb felt a lead rock settle in his stomach and he was already about to pull away, laugh it off, when Ben suddenly smiled and replied, just as quietly, “Yeah. You can kiss me.”

 

Caleb did. It was at a strange angle, so it took some fumbling and repositioning and laughing and apologizing before they got it right, but they got it right in the end. Caleb felt one of Ben’s hands grasp his own, fingers intertwining gently, and he smiled into the kiss. His free hand drifted up to card through Ben’s damp hair, the tips of his fingers just barely brushing Ben’s neck. 

 

“Pfft. Dude, stop,” Ben laughed, turning his face away from Caleb’s. “That tickles.”

 

“Wait, seriously?” asked Caleb incredulously. “That’s adorable.”

 

“‘M not adorable,” Ben muttered, blushing slightly. “I’m taller than you.”

 

“Adorable,” Caleb insisted, giving him another quick peck on the nose. “Cute.”

 

“I hate you,” said Ben, pushing Caleb off of him and onto the bed with a grunt. “So much.”

 

Caleb laughed. “If that’s what hating me is like, Tallboy, by all means continue.” He sighed, smiling, and reached down to grab Ben’s hand again. “Seriously, though. That was nice. Pretty good, for a virgin.” He grinned.

 

“Are you honestly rating my kissing skills right now?” asked Ben, propping himself up on one elbow but not letting go of Caleb’s hand. “‘10 out of 10, would kiss again? Five stars on Yelp?”

 

“All that and more.”

 

“How romantic,” Ben said dryly. Then he suddenly turned shy, looking down at their joined hands, his cheeks red. “So… what happens now?”

 

“What do you mean?” asked Caleb. 

 

“I mean, what happens now with us? Do you wanna… keep doing this, or…?”

 

“Of course I want to keep doing it!” Caleb cried. “I’ve been wanting to  _ start _ doing this since, like, ninth grade!”

 

“Wait, are you serious? Ninth grade?” Ben echoed, his eyes wide. “Why didn’t you say something?!”

 

“I don’t know!” Caleb threw his free arm over his eyes, embarrassed. “I- you- we’re best friends, and I didn’t wanna make it weird or- and I wasn’t sure you’d wanna, you know, date me or anything. I mean, I’ve never really dated  _ anyone _ , mostly it’s just quick things or whatever… I didn’t know if you’d be the same. I didn’t want you to be the same.  _ Are _ you going to be the same?” he asked suddenly, removing his arm again. Ben quickly shook his head, his eyes wide and sincere.

 

“No, if you wanna- make this a real thing I… I want to do that too.”

 

“Oh,” said Caleb, grinning. “Good. Because I do.”

 

“Great,” Ben replied. He was smiling wide. “Good.”

 

Caleb was about to say something else, to suggest more kissing, maybe, or to tell Ben to go to sleep, when his phone buzzed. 

 

“Oh, geez,” he muttered, checking it. “It’s Anna. Back again.”

 

“What’s she saying?” Ben asked, turning on his side and tucking his head under Caleb’s chin so he could see the phone screen. 

 

“She says, ‘Pretty sure I failed that Bio midterm. Tell Ben fuck you because he wasn’t there. Also fuck you, Caleb, because you weren’t there either. Also since I took Abe off the chat he’s been pestering me nonstop irl which is somehow worse.’” Caleb laughed quietly at that, and Ben grinned, too. 

 

“Poor Anna. Worst taste in boys I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Definitely not as good as yours,” teased Caleb, and Ben rolled his eyes good-naturedly. 

 

“Hm. I’m not so sure about that,” he said. “Can you prove it?”

  
“You got it, Benny,” Caleb replied, and kissed him again.

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday you bean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are so quality!!!!!! happy sweet 16!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ending the notes now!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> also this is my first turn fic so i'd love any feedback anyone would like to give me regarding characterization, which is very important to me.
> 
> this fic is based very VERY loosely on a true story that happened like last week (?) the romantic bit is separate but i did have a friend who skipped a midterm bc they knew the school would have to let them retake it and when i showed up at their house they let me eat some bread and we watched htgawm


End file.
